Robert Plant – Band of Joy

Seeing as I really liked “Raising Sand” The last album, (which Robert did together with Alison Kraus) and all the other Led Zeppellin tunes, I decided to get Band of Joy, the new album by Robert Plant in which he collaborates with Patti Griffin, Buddy Miller & Darryl Scott,

This album has Robert continuing in a more Rhythm & blues direction with his music, with touches of powerful rock music – especially on “Silver Rider“. “You can’t buy my love” is also a (very lively) favourite of mine too.

I think all the songs are awesome in different ways, it is rare that I hear an album where I like all the tracks, anyway here is the track-listing for the album

*Angel Dance

*House of Cards

*Central Two-o-Nine

*Silver Rider

*You can’t buy my Love

*Satan Your Kingdom will Come Down

*Monkey

*Harm’s Swift Way

*Even this shall Pass

*The Only Sound that Matters

There’s nothing like a nice piece of hickory

Having watched The Outlaw Josey Wales, Fistful of Dollars, For a few Dollars more, The Good the Bad and the Ugly and Gran Torino whilst in hospital, I got a bit of a taste for exciting Clint Eastwood films. So I decided to watch Pale Rider aswell.

It stars Richard Dysart as a greedy unscrupulous businessman named LaHood, who begins a campaign of Terror to drive out Law abiding prospectors who are living in an area rich in gold. Then a mysterious Preacher arrives in town, and after rescuing a local (Michael Moriarty) he is offered a place to stay and he manages to unite the locals against LaHood & his thugs.

So LaHood then ups the ante by hiring a group of twelve killers led by a chap named Stockburn (John Russell) and the fun really starts…

Why so serious?

The Dark Knight

Directed by Christopher Nolan and starring Christian Bale & the late Heath Ledger, I watched this awesome action-packed movie whilst I was in hospital. It is so much better than Batman & Robin & Batman Forever, the ones with Jim Carrey, Uma Thurman, Arnold Schwarzenegger and Tommy Lee Jones are just a bit silly, although the tunes by U2, Smashing Pumpkins and Underworld are pretty cool. Mind you I still prefer Prince’s score for the first one (Even if Jack Nicholson did overact Michael Keaton under-the-table, he made up for it in Beetlejuice, however I digress).
Bale stars as the caped crusader Batman who with the help of his faithful butler Alfred (Michael Caine) tries to rid the streets of Gotham City of crime. Also helping him in his fight against crime, are Lucius Fox (Morgan Freeman) and Commissioner Gordon (Gary Oldman).
A new crime wave has hit Gotham City, perpetrated by a master criminal known as the Joker (Ledger) and his men. They are stealing millions from the banks and embarking on an epic crime spree causing absolute chaos everywhere they go. So Batman sets out to stop him, unfortunately things don’t go smoothly and District Attorney Harvey Dent (Aaron Eckhart) gets embroiled in the conflict with tragic consequences…

From the Sublime to the Ridiculous…

 Daredevil

Whilst I was in a superhero mood I decided to watch Daredevil too, it stars Ben Affleck as a Lawyer named Matt Murdock, who is blinded by an accident, and grows up vowing to rid the streets of crime after his Father is killed by thugs, so he becomes a vigilante crime fighter known as Daredevil. He then teams up with a female crime fighter named Elektra (Jennifer Garner) after her Father ends up being killed by the same thugs.

Sadly things end in tragedy when he tries to tackle a villain called Bull’s Eye (Colin Farrell) who has a handily placed Target on his forehead just in case any superheroes wish to clobber him *rolls Eyes*, and he learns that all the crime in the city is being controlled by a so-called Kingpin of crime (Michael Clarke Duncan).

Verdict: I’d Stick to watching the Dark Knight If I were you

Idiots

IDIOT SIGHTING #1

My daughter and I went through the McDonald’s take-out window and I gave the clerk a £5 note. Our total was £4.20, so I also handed her a Twenty pence piece.She said, ‘you gave me too much money.’
I said,’Yes I know, but this way you can just give me £1 back.’ She sighed and went to get the manager who asked me to repeat my request. I did so, and he handed me back the 20 pence and said ‘We’re sorry but they could not do that kind of thing.’ The clerk then proceeded to give me back 80 pence in change..
Do not confuse the clerks at MacD’s.

IDIOT SIGHTING #2

We had to have the garage door repaired. The GARADOR repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a ‘large’ enough motor on the opener.
I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one GARADOR made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower. He shook his head and said, ‘Lady, you need a 1/4 horsepower.’ I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4 and he said,
‘NOOO, it’s not. Four is larger than two..’

IDIOT SIGHTING #3

I live in a semi rural area. We recently had a new neighbour call the Highways Department to request the removal of the DEER CROSSING sign on our road. The reason: ‘Too many deer are being hit by cars out here! I don’t think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore.’

IDIOT SIGHTING #4

My daughter went to a local Kentucky Fried and ordered a taco. She asked the person behind the counter for ‘minimum lettuce.’ He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg lettuce.

IDIOT SIGHTING #5

A perrson was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an Irish airport employee asked, ‘Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?’ To which they replied, ‘If
it was without my knowledge, how would I know?’ He smiled knowingly and nodded, ‘That’s why we ask.’

IDIOT SIGHTING #6

The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it’s unsafe to cross the street. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged co-worker of mine. She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, ‘What on earth are blind people doing driving?!’
She is a Local County Councillor employee in Harrow , Middlesex , UK

IDIOT SIGHTING #7

When my husband and I arrived at Our Local Ford dealer to pick up ou car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the drivers side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. ‘Hey,’ I announced to the Fitter/Mechanic, ‘its open!’ His reply, ‘I know. I already did that side.’

Blondes are best

Lynn and Judy were doing some carpenter work on a Habitat for Humanity
House. Lynn was nailing down house siding, would reach into her nail ,
Pouch, pull out a nail and either toss it over her shoulder or nail it in.
Judy, figuring this was worth looking into, asked, ‘Why are you
Throwing those nails away?’
Lynn explained, ‘When I pull a nail out of my pouch, about half of
Them have the head on the wrong end and I throw them away.’ Judy got completely upset and yelled, ‘You moron! Those nails aren’t
Defective! They’re for the other side of the house!’
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Did you hear about the two blondes who froze to death in a drive-in movie?
They had gone to see ‘Closed for the Winter.’
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
You might have to think twice about this one.
==================================
A blonde hurried into the emergency room late one night with the tip
Of her index finger shot off. ‘How did this happen?’ the emergency
Room doctor asked her.
‘Well, I was trying to commit suicide,’ the blonde replied.
‘What?’ sputtered the doctor. ‘You tried to commit suicide by shooting
Off your finger?’
‘No, Silly’ the blonde said. ‘First I put the gun to my chest, andThen I thought, ‘I just paid $6, 000.00 for these implants…
I’m not shooting myself in the chest.’
‘So then?’ asked the doctor.
‘Then I put the gun in my mouth, and I thought, ‘I just paid $3,000.00
To get my teeth straightened I’m not shooting myself in the mouth.’
‘So then?’ ‘Then I put the gun to my ear, and I thought: ‘This is going to make a
Loud noise. So I put my finger in my other ear before I pulled the
Trigger.
==================================
A blonde was driving home after a game and got caught in a really bad
Hailstorm.. Her car was covered with dents, so the next day she took it
To a repair shop. The shop owner saw that she was a blonde, so he
Decided to have some fun… He told her to go home and blow into the
Tail pipe really hard, and all the dents would pop out.
So, the blonde went home, got down on her hands and knees and started
Blowing into her tailpipe.. Nothing happened.. So she blew a little
Harder, and still nothing happened.
Her blonde roommate saw her and asked, ‘What are you doing?’ The first
Blonde told her how the repairman had instructed her to blow into the
Tail pipe in order to get all the dents to pop out.
The roommate rolled her eyes and said, ‘Uh, like hello!
You need to roll up the windows first.’
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

A blonde was shopping at Target and came across a shiny silver
Thermos. She was quite fascinated by it, so she picked it up and took
It to the clerk to ask what it was.
The clerk said, ‘Why, that’s a thermos….. It keeps hot things hot,
And cold things cold.’
‘Wow, said the blonde, ‘that’s amazing….I’m going to buy it!’ So she
Bought the thermos and took it to work the next day.
Her boss saw it on her desk. ‘What’s that,’ he asked?
‘Why, that’s a thermos….. It keeps hot things hot and cold things
Cold,’ she replied..
Her boss inquired, ‘What do you have in it?’
The blond replied……’Two popsicles and some coffee.’
+++++++++++++
AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST
A blonde goes into work one morning crying her eyes out.
Her boss asked sympathetically, ‘What’s the matter?’
The blonde replies, ‘Early this morning I got a phone call saying that
My mother had passed away.’
The boss, feeling sorry for her, says, ‘Why don’t you go home for the
Day? Take the day off to relax and rest.’
‘Thanks, but I’d be better off here. I need to keep my mind off it and
I have the best chance of doing that here.’
The boss agrees and allows the blonde to work as usual. A couple of
hours pass and the boss decides to check on the blonde. He looks out
from his office and sees the blonde crying hysterically…
‘What’s so bad now? Are you gonna be okay?’ he asks.
‘No!’ exclaims the blonde. ‘I just received a horrible call from my
sister. Her mother died, too!’

The Auditor

At the end of the tax year, the Tax Office sent an inspector to audit the books of a local hospital. While the Tax Office agent was checking the books he turned to the CEO of the hospital and said, “I notice you buy a lot of bandages. What do you do with the end of the roll when there’s too little left to be of any use?”

“Good question,” noted the CEO. “We save them up and send them back to the bandage company and every now and then they send us a free box of bandages.”

“Oh,” replied the auditor, somewhat disappointed that his unusual question had a practical answer. But on he went, in his obnoxious way.

“What about all these plaster purchases? What do you do with what’s left over after setting a cast on a patient?”

“Ah, yes,” replied the CEO, realising that the inspector was trying to trap him with an unanswerable question . “We save it and send it back to the manufacturer, and every now and then they send us a free package of plaster.”

“I see,” replied the auditor, thinking hard about how he could fluster the know-it-all CEO. “Well,” he went on, “What do you do with all the leftover foreskins from the circumcisions you perform?”

“Here, too, we do not waste,” answered the CEO. “What we do is save all the little foreskins and send them to the Tax Office, and about once a year they send us a complete dick.”

Happy Gilmour

This rather amusing film stars Adam Sandler as a former Ice Hockey player named Happy Gilmour, and was another film I watched whilst in Hospital.

Gilmour tries his hand at playing golf and at first he thinks it’s a load of rubbish, but then he learns that his Grandmother’s House is about to be repossessed and that he can earn enough money playing Golf Professionally to save his Grandmothers house.

However, his unconventionl approach and erratic behaviour soon has many golfers up in arms, and shocks many members of the Golfing Establishment, who then resort to underhand tactics to try and stop him winning a major tournament