The Soddit

I am currently reading The Soddit or Let’s Cash in Again, it’s  An amusing parody of J.R.R. Tolkien’s The Hobbit, written by A.R.R.R. Roberts. This book Follows on from Bored of the Rings and parodies Tolkien’s The Hobbit. The story starts when a peaceful Soddit called Bingo is visited by a hard-of-hearing wizard, named Gandef, and a party of dwarfs who ask Bingo to come with them on a quest to ‘The Only Mountain’ where ‘Smug the Dragon’ lives. After a few drinks, Bingo accepts, not knowing what they were actually searching for. “Gold, boyo gold, la, look you.”

On the way, they have many adventures and close shaves, including their ponies drowning in the river and losing all luggage but one helmet. They also have a nasty run in with some trollps, who plan to eat them, successfully squash four dwarfs but they annoy the wizard Gandef, who temporarily turns them to mounds of sand as opposed to real stone. They travel to the tree village of Riverdale, meeting Ellesquare and the other Tree Elves of the high council. The company then travel the mountain kingdom of Black Maria where Gandef accidentally opens the door after a particularly violent coughing fit. In the mountains, they encounter Gobblins, which are evil turkeys, who capture them, but the dwarves escape. Unfortunately a fifth dwarf dies in friendly fire from Gandef and then Bingo falls down into an abyss. Here he meets a morose philosopher named Sollum whom He challenges to a game of riddles. While with Sollum Bingo finds a magical Thing® Which he uses to escape after Sollum tries to eat him.

After reuniting with the party, the dwarfs are chased by non-sentient wolves, and hide in a tree until the pack gives up. Gandef plans to take them to a mill, which is “famous” but instead they go and stay with the fearsome and slightly eccentric, Biorn the bear-man, who is reputed to change from man to bear at night and who thinks Gandef is actually the Wizard Raddledghastly. After leaving Biorn They then enter the sinister “enchanted” forest of Mykyurwood where they encounter many perils Including bitter, political spiders in the forest who want to eat them. So Bingo uses the Thing® once again to escape, but this has unforeseen consequences. Then, they find a brewery, where they encounter morbidly obese drunken Dwarfs who are incessantly singing dispite being tone-deaf. From here they journey to Lakeside, where they go off to the Only Mountain, where Bingo meets the the not-so-fearsome dragon Smug who then travels to Lakeside with honourable intentions but causes panic instead.

Then suddenly twenty thousand gobblins, led by the Great Gobblin, arrive and attack, demanding the Thing®. However the six remaining dwarves led by Token, five hundred men led by Bart, five hundred elves led by Ellesquare and Bingo led by himself, fight back. Then Bingo tricks the Gobblins by giving them the Barking Stone, which they believe is the Thing@ and they use it. However this has hilarious consequences for the Gobblins.


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